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September 21, 2003 Other Mail

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Political Satire gets passed along the internet, and Just Above Sunset is asked to promote dissent....



Item 1:


Going around the net, and something I sent off to my own online discussion group, was a satiric, mock press release.  Bush Resignation Hailed by World Leaders by Greg Palast   That hit the net on Thursday, September 11th -and http://www.gregpalast.com/detail.cfm?artid=275&row=0 is the the link. Greg Palast wrote the New York Times bestseller, The Best Democracy Money Can Buy.  He generally writes for the Observer and Guardian newspapers (UK), and does investigative reporting for BBC Televisions Newsnight.


His fanatasy was a bit sarcastic -

The surprise resignation of the forty-third President of the United States, George W. Bush, on the second anniversary of the terrorist attack on America, was hailed by chiefs of state throughout the world.  Mr. Bush announced that after, "two years of bloodshed, economic devastation, and spreading fear in America and abroad," he saw no choice but to accept that, "I have held a title which I did not win, and for which I have proven unqualified." ...


"In the script I've been handed, I'm now supposed to tell you that America is safer today, and that the world is kinder and nicer and happier, because of I'm such a brilliant general in the War on Terror.

"But who are we kidding? Yesterday, Osama released his new hit video. The terrorists are having a picnic ever since I turned over our foreign policy to Saudi Arabia and Exxon-Mobil.

"And here's the point in my speech where my handlers would have me tell you about how I've been praying hard, making it sound like I just got off the phone with the Lord.  I don't know about you, but I find it pretty darn offensive, downright blasphemous, to drag the Lord's name into every cheap campaign speech and chest-pounding war threat.  Osama says he talks to God too.  Let's leave Him out of the politics from now on, OK?


"So we're blowing 100 billion bucks we don't have to colonize a country we don't want.  Rummy tries to explain it to me each morning -- oil this and oil that -- but I just don't see it. And one of our kids dying there every day - where are their parents, anyway?  My dad didn't let that happen - he got me out of the service.  Didn't I look neat in that fly-boy suit?


"And, let me tell you, I just looked at our nation's piggy bank.  Uh-oh." ...


"Hey, I can take a hint.  OK, I'm over my head on this one.  I look back over these last years, and what have I got to show you for it: two years of bloodshed, economic devastation, and spreading fear in America and abroad.

"When I ran for this office, I said the issue was, 'character.'  And just look at the characters around me.  I've gotten all their resignations today.  And while I've got some character left, here's my own good-bye note too. Let's face it:  I have held a title which I did not win, and for which I have proven unqualified.  You know it.  And I know it.

"It's at this point in the speech where I'm supposed to say, "And may God bless America."  God better, because Dick Cheney won't.  Don't panic:  I'm not turning over this sacred office to Mr. Contracts-R-Us.

"Instead, I've petitioned the United States Supreme Court to pick a President for us.  Those guys picked the last one, why not the next one?"

And so on.


My friend on Wall Street wrote - "And then we all woke up.  Damn!"  So don't assume all high-powered corporate attorneys are loyal Bush Republicans.


And one fellow wrote from Montreal -

The scary thing is that given such a speech, public opinion would probably say, "Aw, he's so cute, and honest" - and rally for him to stay on.    I mean, who could do better?  Election 2004 should be interesting.  What will be allowed as campaign fodder and what will be patriotically sacrosanct.

My only comment -


Indeed that might be what would happen were Bush to give such a speech.  As for what will be campaign fodder and what turn out to be patriotically sacrosanct, the lines are drawn already. 


One doesn't question Sharon and the Israeli position on ridding the world of Arafat - because we all know eliminate one really bad guy and everyone loves us.  You don't make fun of Tony Blair and you still hate the French - because friends are friends and all that. 


And you attack to new guy, Clark.  We already had one Rhodes Scholar from Arkansas as president, and he ruined our morals and left George with a terrible economic mess to clean up and caused the events of September 11 two years ago by being a wimp and caused all the recent forest fires, every single one of them.  Hell, this Clark fellow graduated first in his class from West Point and speaks four languages. 


We prefer the guy who can hardly manage English and just squeaked by in school - and jokes about it.  Geez, even the Dean fellow is an MD of all things. 


It's lining up as the clash of those who read and think versus those who get things done and don't worry about details.  It should be an interesting campaign season.



Item 2:


On June 19th Fox News Network, LLC issued a "cease and desist" order against Agitproperties LLC, an Austin, Texas outfit selling t-shirts and mugs making fun of Fox News.  They use what looks like the Fox logo, but it reads Faux News, We Decide, You Comply.  And another item shows an Aryan looking young lad in a brown shirt asking the "Bill O'Reilly Hitler Youth" to defend the Homeland.  Seems like parody to me.

But Murdoch has lots of money and Fox will no doubt bury them.  A discussion and the full "cease and desist order was here: I'm Just Wild About Harry.


It seems the guys at Agitproperties in Austin came across what appeared in this magazine, and they send me this:

Greetings from our garage HQ in Austin, Texas - "deep in enemy territory":

Thank you so much for your mention/support/post concerning our little company. We really appreciate it.

We are both happy and honored that the New York Chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union decided to represent us against FOX after they sent us their cease-anddesist letter earlier this summer. They sent FOX a reply on our behalf essentially telling The Fair and Balanced? Network to "get stuffed". We were waiting for them to reply and then (joy of joys!) the Al Franken lawsuit happened...

Between the huge amount of world-wide publicity that they inadvertently gave us (MSNBCs "Countdown" - twice!) and their very public humiliation in court with the Franken case, we honestly think they have had second thoughts about pursuing their case against Agitproperties, but who really knows with these people?

In the meantime, we soldier on with two goals: a.) to be a clearing house for alternative news to counterweigh the lying Bushite right-wing media and b) to bait, offend, annoy, marginalize, confuse, confound and irritate Republicans and conservatives with our merchandise.

With our Constitution already in tatters, and the Bushites, incredibly, scheming to eviscerate it even more... with 10 million unemployed... with our sons and daughters dying every day for the stockholders of Shell and Halliburton... the gloves are coming off.  We feel it is high time that the Left started acting like the Right and be as irritating and annoying to them as they are to us and WITHOUT APOLOGY.  

To quote the late Bob Marley, on November 4th, 2004, "We're gonna chase dem crazy baldheads out of town".

That being said, we would like to let you know about our three latest shirts: the BRILLIANT "Decision 2004" tee by syndicated cartoonist Lalo Alcaraz, our U.N. Blue "Got Allies?" tee by syndicated cartoonist Kirk Anderson, and our WICKED Ann Coulter tee that features Fraulein Coulter very naughtily posed in, appropriately enough, half of the uniform of an SS Standartenfuhrer (guess which half). These, along with our other products, are available 24-7 at our online store:


If you haven't lately, could it be possible for you to pay us a visit and maybe give us a review/plug on your website?  Starting Wednesday September 24th will be keeping accurate daily referral logs until Thanksgiving, and the blog or website that brings us the most traffic will receive a holiday gift pack of one each of our product line (a $250.00 value). If you are interested, we have both large and small animated and static banners that we will be happy to supply on request.

Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy message.

Yours in The Cause,

Richard Luckett   Designer/Marketing Director  Agitproperties LLC  Dissent is your right as a citizen and your duty as a patriot.

If I have this right, the more I mention them the better chances I have of winning a bunch of their stuff. 


Geez, everyone has an angle. 


No, you won't see their banners or pop-ups here.  Not my style.