Topic: The Culture
Michael Jackson and Vice President Dick Cheney

This will be all over the net today. I recommend Andy Borowitz and his daily site to you all. Today's item:

CHENEY NAMED INTERIM KING OF POP
Sports Sequined Glove on 'Meet the Press'

Moving quickly to fill what it termed a "dangerous power vacuum," the White House this weekend appointed Vice President Dick Cheney to the position of Interim King of Pop.

White House spokesman Scott McClellan told reporters that the absence of a King of Pop "posed an imminent threat to civilized people everywhere."

But Mr. McClellan took great pains to stress the temporary nature of Mr. Cheney's reign, saying that the Vice President would serve in his new role only until elections or what he called a "Loya Jirga" could be held to choose a truly representative King of Pop.

Mr. McClellan also said that the Vice President, while not technically a pop star, shared many qualities in common with pop stars, including massive wealth and a long-standing sense of entitlement.

Appearing on "Meet the Press" wearing one sequined glove, Mr. Cheney said, "Clearly, the office of King of Pop has been tarnished, but I hope that by churning out a steady stream of #1 hit singles, as well as by busting some funky moves, I will bring its luster back like never before."

The Vice President's first single, "Billie Jean is Not My Interim Lover," will be released later this week.

Mr. Cheney, who was heading to Los Angeles to tape a musical special for CBS, created some controversy when he said that he expected his reign as Interim King of Pop to last until 2006 "at least."

The comment drew howls of protest from several key U.S. allies, including Germany, who demanded that Mr. Cheney be replaced as King of Pop immediately by David Hasselhoff.